"Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way." Welcome to my blog - Reflections. A cogitation of my trekking experiences, random/systematic ideas and vistas of the marvelous world that I live in.
Silence. It had lately taken a substantial priority in her life. At times, everything seemed out of order; her very purpose lost somewhere in the mindless miles she traveled daily for work. It was hard to believe. But it happened; the thing she had feared the most was now a truth in her life. They had broken up.
Hope; she had learned painfully, was a bad companion to keep in such times. She would keep going back to her world, and with every sweet memoir she lingered towards her phone, expecting a call or a special sms. None came.
At times, hope would subside, only to give way for anger. She would open her email account and continue scribbling fresh lines of astonishment and anger ... to an already long mail. How could he do this to her? Did he realise how terribly hard it was for her to come in terms with this new un-pleasant reality? It was a nasty jolt, and she felt it was an un-necessary decision. But the mail would just remain in her draft; without a receiver, without a subject.
Music, she had discovered lately, was a better companion. Sometimes, she would pop in the headphones and play her list of heart breaking, lonely tracks. Loneliness gave her mind that solace, that comfort. Seldom did anyone notice the tiny beads of tears in her eyes, everyone had lives of their own to settle. And she had her own aloofness; her songs that made her numb. She liked it, the numbness...
Surely, there must be many of you who have read the highly recommended and acclaimed “Seven habits of highly effective people” by Stephen Covey. However, there is something specific in that book which I feel like sharing with you folks today. In my belief, it is what can be your first and last step towards building highly successful relationships.
In his book, Covey recalls an encounter with a client who complains that love is absent in his relationship; that his marriage is about to fall apart and there’s nothing he can do about it. Covey simply asks him, “Have you loved her?” to which the client replies “I told you Sir, there’s just no love anymore between us.” Covey repeats the question – “Have you LOVED her?” - Love is a verb, it is an action. You must listen to her, sympathize with her and be there for her. To love, you must accept her.
Covey’s thoughts have inspired and help countless relations to re-start cranking themselves. Add a few drops of that magical oil, and the engine starts running smoothly, giving you more smiles ahead. That beautiful magical oil, is acceptance. It’s what I feel like stressing about.
If you think about it, acceptance forms a very fundamental part of love. Take the definition of love and traverse right to the base of it, and you’ll find acceptance out there. Because the definition of love in terms of acceptance; is a truly universal one. It holds true for any relation – be it a child and his parents, a brother and sister; arranged marriage or love marriages.
Unfortunately, many of us today walk around the world with some seriously wrong concepts about love. There are quite a number of people who are awed by the concept of love marriages and look down upon arranged marriages as something out-dated and orthodox. No, No – before you even think about it, let me clarify - my point here is not to compare both the institutions. Rather, I would like to clear some mis-conceptions in the minds of these folks. They like to think of love marriage as a perfect fit; a compromise-free life where nobody needs to adjust. And nothing pains me more when I see love being treated like a commodity or stock. If the orders don’t match, it’s not a trade. And this happens frequently even in arranged marriages. In my humble opinion, whether your marriage is love or arranged – any relation succeeds only when there is acceptance. Love isn’t at all about matching; it’s definitely not about the number of interests/hobbies/levels of comfort that define it. Any and every of these, are parameters which define your personality. Physical attraction is a different aspect of love in which chemistry plays a strong role; no doubt. But the act of loving – the small simple things in your everyday life, like listening to your partner, being supportive of her, sympathizing with her; these actions only come out of you when you truly accept the other individual.
So go ahead and try this out today – start accepting, rather than expecting. And you will experience for yourself how the wheels of relations turn in your favour. And as you start enjoying your journey, do write to me and share your happiness. Go on, love her!
P.S: The author belongs to a family united by love marriage for the past 28 years. And he will be doing a love marriage in the near future. :-)
It was regular to see cars swarming outside Bandra station on any evening. Amidst the yellow and black rickshaws struggling for customers, a white premier padmini silently parked just near "Bandra" signboard. Three men, dressed in casual jeans and t-shirts stepped out of it. It was the perfect attire; Bandra being the hub of suburbia cosmopolitanism witnessed this as its most sought and worn outfit.The commonly common. As the men walked directly towards the first platform, one of them received a call on his phone. Suleiman, a strongly built Mohammedan in his early twenties, answered the call. He heard only one line - "Saath pachees ki Andheri local, third last compartment". Suleiman hung up, and silently motioned his men towards the Churchgate end of the platform.
The pink and violet painted canvas of the evening skies looked magical, with the sea link magnificently standing broad in the background. It was the only thing worth looking at, in an overcrowded evening Andheri local for Irfan. Farid chacha stood right next to him, firmly holding his hand. The train was spilling with Mumbai's daily travelers, right from business men with their typical suitcases, local workers completed with their daily routines to students attending their evening classes. All with their sweaty shirts, their soaked handkerchiefs providing them with little relief. Hence Irfan preferred staying at the doorway, it was very fortunate for him to get the place. He never liked travelling by trains: overcrowded and noisy, he would tell Farid chacha. Yet, it was the cheapest and quickest way to travel for Mumbai's burgeoning middle class. As the train passed over the Mahim creek, it slowly started chugging itself towards platform number One.
Since my engineering days, entrepreneurship has been a topic that always remained close to my heart. Somehow, the whole idea of starting up on your own, identifying the opportunities within a problem and effectively running a business out of it, excites many of us. And as we live most of our lives in the metropolitans, there is significant exposure to a variety of entrepreneurs and startups from across the city with which we interact, share our experiences and enrich our learning curve.
However, travel sixty kilometers across the city limits and you will be tossed into a completely new world. The rural face of the country – it’s always very close to the city, just a couple of hours of a drive away from hi-tech Bandra-Kurla Complex, and you’ll find lush green villages, beautiful forts and deep valleys. Amongst these mountains and valleys lie numerous dotted villages, randomly scattered groups of tribes and rural populace whose life is entirely contrasting from ours. Their problems are simpler, their needs, limited. But that does not stop them from being creative, or coming up with splendid solutions to their day to day life issues. I particularly remember one time when I had been on a trek to Kalsubai, in Sahyadris. I happened to meet one such inspiring fellow, who was actually running multiple businesses in a small tiny village at the base of the mountain! Completely taken by surprised, I was shown the various needs he was attending to, such as adventure camping (providing tents to trekkers like us, at reasonable costs – Rs. 200/- per night for a four men’s tent, is a dirt cheap deal. And exciting too!), besides cultivating honey farms along terraced slopes of the mountain. He was utilizing the demographics of the area to favor his business. And he was indeed doing well, with enthusiasm in thinking of other opportunities.
Today, my friend Mr. Sachin Kadam suggested me to view this video on TED by Dr. Anil Gupta. And when I saw it, I could hold myself no more. I had to write this article in a small tribute to create more awareness about this section of our society; which if you observe by statistics, is the larger chunk of India’s population. And yet, it chooses to reside on a low key only with a few exemplary individuals utilizing their resources to create awareness. As an organization committed to fostering entrepreneurship, I sincerely feel we need to honestly start examining the opportunities within our rustic lands. And I’ll show you some numbers which might inspire you.
There you go. Those numbers simply work down to one word. Opportunities. While the larger chunk of our population remains rural, we pre- dominantly focus on the issues and concerns of the urban societies. Now, I can perhaps understand if large organizations turn a blind eye in this area with reasons such as sustainability and margins; but I feel that it provides an excellent opportunity for younger startups to breed their innovative ideas in this sandbox, rather than competing amongst their urban peers’.There are several facilitating factors to consider such an approach:
People in the rural are not demanding when it comes to brands. If you have a product/service that meets their needs, they will come to you.
Their problems are simple, and so are their needs.
Word of mouth publicity works fantastically in here. Go check it out sometime, if you still haven’t. It can do wonders for your business, if you have a product/service focused for them.
As a general view, rural people are sincere, honest and hardworking. They have a strong desire to do well, and equally sharp is their creativity. One can learn quite a lesson or two, from them.
On a concluder note, I would urge all of you passionate entrepreneurs and opportunists to think about your hometown, at times. If you haven’t been there in a long time, or if you don’t have one, go and get a ride over the week end. We have illustrating examples of fine individuals like Dr. Harish Hande (see Selco), a social entrepreneur with an excellent education background (graduation from IIT, Masters and PhD from University of Massachusetts, Lowell in Energy engineering) who came back to literally ‘enlighten’ the villages. Or take the example of our banker from South India, Mr. J. S Parthiban; who penetrates the remotest villages to assist villagers in opening savings accounts and financing their own needs. (See banking on change).
India’s opportunities lie within. And they are enormous. So entrepreneurs, go ahead. Find your opportunities beyond.
“Bhaaaag, Irffan!!!!”…. The sweaty hot gullies of Sultan Nagar echoed with screams of half a dozen kids feverishly indulged in their game. Life continued at its pace for the rest; men in pathanis and white caps walking by. Irfan sprinted, the whole of his Bhairampada cricket career at his stake – his team needed only one run to cheer. He had never been in a losing team so far, at the age of twelve. The front tire of a green Pulsar was his only goal, as he zeroed towards it with his outstretched bat. Sunil threw the ball at the tire-turned wicket, full of hope…
A second later…
“Yaaayy!!! Jiit Gaye!!!! Dhin Chak, Dhi chak!!!!” An overexcited Irfan threw his bat in the air, as his teammates ran to lift him in glory. Irfan was busy dancing in his victory ishtyle as his teammates handed him a kala-khatta Pepsi cola. And he grinned proudly, for a free treat tasted even better. A few spectators merely smirked and walked away. Farid bhai, however; managed to squeeze a smile. Seventy four years old and running a local paan shop; Irfan was his only prized possession, his gem of an orphan grandson. Irfan fondly called him "chacha ji". A gleam shone across his old freckled face as his brown stained, tobacco eschewed gums showed up. Absent minded, he stared at Irfan, paving out a few more details in his dream future for the grandchild. He wanted Irfan to grow up and be a car mechanic. From his life savings, he had even managed a small gala in the near-by municipal estate to establish the repair shop. Irfan, meanwhile, continued to celebrate; oblivious to his chacha ji's dream.
Two buildings away, perched in an aram khursi on the second floor; a steel cold pair of watchful eyes observed the same kid, carefully thinking. Zakir had been patiently watching this adolescent kid now, steadily for over ten years. A confirmation call, and the much awaited plan would kick into action.
